A World of Pain
by UrbanChameleon
Summary: "I was tired of waiting for others to set things straight, so I left to find Sasuke myself and give him a piece of my mind. Except I came across the wrong Uchiha. And now he won't let me go." Sakura is held hostage by Itachi as bait for Naruto. But as days go by, Sakura realizes there is something about Itachi that is not quite right.
1. Prologue

**Credit for the story image goes to sakuchan1 on Tumblr.  
**

 **Prologue**

The ground trembled under their feet, its rumble echoing in the surrounding area. A flock of birds took off from the trees, frightened by the disturbance. Itachi stopped in the middle of the path. Kisame came to a halt behind him, whistling.

„Seems like someone's having one hell of a party, _nee_ , Itachi-san?" he said, swinging Samehada up on his shoulder with a sharp grin.

Itachi looked ahead, though even with his Sharingan, he could see nothing through the tight-knit trees. The Byakugan would have had the job done in the time it took for him to blink, but as he had no such _doujutsu_ , all he could do was speculate. They were near the border between the Land of Sound and the Land of Fire, so this was likely no more than a skirmish between Oto and Konoha shinobi - nothing to concern the Akatsuki.

"If anyone bothers us, I'd be more than happy to carve a path through," Kisame said when Itachi started walking again.

That, Itachi did not doubt. Kisame was often overzealous when it came to battle. It did not bother him as much as it used to, though he would try to hold him back every now and again, lest they be delayed from completing their assignments.

But the sounds of battle did not reach them again. The forest returned to its quietude, and only the leaves stirred as the breeze swept through them. Their murmur was comforting to Itachi, who had spent the best part of his life in a village surrounded by dense woods. Leaving Konoha had not changed that.

"I hope Leader doesn't send us out again tomorrow. I could use a few days for myself. Are there any towns nearby?"

"A few villages," Itachi said.

Kisame seemed disappointed, but said nothing. His eyes stopped on the road ahead and widened ever so slightly. Trees had been knocked down, handfuls of shuriken embedded in their trunks. Kunai peppered the path that led to a house-sized crater. The Akatsuki stopped again, quietly surveying the area.

Itachi's eyes moved fast: two Oto-nin sprawled in the crater, another lying face-down in the grass a few feet away. None of them was breathing. Then his gaze drifted to the right, where he saw a kunoichi. She was sitting with her back against a still-standing tree, her head lolling to one side and her eyes shut. The Konoha equipment would have provided some camouflage, had it not been for the color of her hair. Pink was hard to miss, even for someone who did not have the Sharingan.

Kisame looked around, his hand clenched around Samehada's hilt. "This one's teammates seem to have run for the hills."

Itachi's Sharingan noticed the small but rhythmic movement of her chest, the blood seeping through a hole in her flak jacket and another trail of blood slowly making its way from her left temple down her cheek.

"She had none," he said.

"What makes you so sure?" Kisame asked, watching Itachi step towards her and thinking he was going to do her a favor and finish her off.

"Only four sets of footprints," Itachi pointed out, kneeling beside the unconscious kunoichi and brushing the pink hair from her face to have a better look at her. For a moment, he remained perfectly still, vacillating. He then removed her flak jacket, tossed it aside and pulled out clean bandages from an inner pocket of his cloak.

"What are you doing?" Kisame asked, nonplussed, when he saw his partner pick up the patched-up kunoichi.

"I know this one," he said. "She's the _kyuubi_ 's teammate. If we keep her alive, we can use her as bait when the time is right."

"Are you sure she's the one?"

Itachi gave him a pointed look.

Kisame's lips stretched to reveal his filed teeth. "I see, Itachi-san. They might want to protect the remaining _jinchuuriki_ once they realize what's going on. Having some sort of… collateral wouldn't hurt." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Where are we going to keep her, though?"

The Akatsuki did not have a permanent headquarters, but a scattering of hideouts across the map, where members could rest without taking turns every once in a while, as they travelled to and fro. Itachi would not dare leave her alone in any of them, as it was impossible to predict for how long they would be gone at any given time. There was also the risk of other Akatsuki members passing by.

"She's coming with us," Itachi said.

Kisame opened his mouth, thought about it for a moment and shut it. Then he looked at the limp form in Itachi's arms and frowned. "It's easy now that she's unconscious, but wait until she wakes up. Both of us will be sleeping with one eye open."

"Then you can use the Samehada to keep her drained of chakra," Itachi said, his mind already made up.

He wondered, though. Clearly, it was her attack that had killed the Oto-nin, but what was she doing at the border all alone? Konoha-nin never acted alone. Solo missions were a rarity even among the ANBU, and she was only a _chuunin,_ judging by her equipment. Was it possible she had been trying to get to Sasuke on her own?

Itachi's eyes drifted to the crater as they took to the trees, heading towards the nearest hideout. If she had done that, she was not as weak as she seemed. Also, taking out one of Otogakure's border patrols added to his impression of her – of Sakura, if he remembered correctly, though her surname eluded him.

He looked at her face, which seemed to have grown pale. Her wounds were not life-threatening and she had clearly started to heal herself before passing out. She would survive and she would wake up, eventually. Itachi had no doubt she would try to escape once that happened. In fact, he thought he might be disappointed if she did not.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I think that to be strong is to never feel pain. I can feel the pain now - intermittent at first, as light drifts in and out of sight. Then it comes and it stays, although I am not strong enough to open my eyes just yet. It remains with me as a constant companion, gradually making its presence known.

But this is not the kind of pain I am talking about.

This one is physical. It pulses in my abdomen and it sears throughout, but it is not and cannot be worse than the pain of remembering what happened to me. At first, it comes back to me in bits and pieces.

I see myself leaving Konoha as if through another's eyes. I dash through the treetops across the Land of Fire and find myself at the border with the Land of Sound, thinking I can singlehandedly find and bring Sasuke home.

Silly, silly me. It seems I barely managed to stay alive after killing a border patrol, not to mention accomplishing what I set out for. Sasuke's face is swimming before my eyes as I open them, so when they met the Sharingan my insides jump for joy (and pain).

"You're awake."

I blink. Once. Twice. The blur will not go away and Sasuke's voice is all wrong. I breathe in sharply – a failed attempt to gather enough energy to speak. It makes me scrunch up my face in pain and this is not how I want Sasuke to see me, so I try to recompose myself, to realign the muscles in my face and smile. It must be coming off as a pathetic attempt, because Sasuke says: "Don't strain yourself."

Again, it sounds wrong. I dismiss it as my imagination and allow myself to drift back into oblivion, comforted that I am safe, for the time being.

* * *

" _Sasuke,"_ she had said, smiling at him. Itachi took the wet cloth from her forehead, plunged it into icy water and put it back, hoping it would help bring down the fever. It had struck a couple of hours before he and Kisame reached the hideout. His little brother's name was the first intelligible thing she had said.

* * *

I open my eyes again. I force my muscles into a smile almost automatically, but he is not here and my heart sinks. Then I feel something rather heavy on my forehead and as I move my hand up to it, I realize it's a wet cloth, now warm. I remove it and stare at it, dumbfounded. I must have had a fever.

I sit up, my heart beating fast. How long have I been out? And, most importantly, where am I? I look around, taking in the unfamiliar room: small, cramped. A few candles are burning on a table next to the door, less than a foot from the bed I've been lying in, and that's about all there is to it. I'm beginning to see stars, so I lie back down, feeling a bit nauseous from the dizziness.

I hear steps outside, so I manage to run a hand twice through my hair before I put my head on the pillow. The pain in my side is becoming sharp and my breathing hitched because of it. I have little to no chakra left in my body, so I cannot deal with it now. It does feel like it has been patched up, though, as I can feel the bandages wound around my abdomen. I blush thinking about Sasuke raising the hem of my blouse to do that.

The door opens. I cannot help but gawk as a taller man than the Sasuke I knew enters, wrapped in a black cloak with red clouds. The Sharingan finds my eyes, but it looks wrong. This is not Sasuke. My heart falters for a moment, then starts picking up its rhythm until it's banging against my chest like a trapped bird.

I know this man. His name is Itachi Uchiha. He is in the Bingo Book I stole from Kakashi-sensei before I left. He is Sasuke's older brother, the man he hates and vowed to kill. He is the reason Sasuke left Konoha, left Naruto and me. That alone is enough for me to hate him.

He closes the door without taking his eyes off me, looking guarded. I laugh inside, trembling from both fear and revulsion. What does he have to fear from me? I am a mere _chuunin,_ whereas he singlehandedly killed his entire clan. It makes me nauseous to be in the same room as him.

"Don't come anywhere near me," I say, my voice shaky and raw.

Itachi stops, his hand slipping from the door handle. I stare, dumbfounded. I did not expect him to oblige. I find myself at a loss for what to say next, so I just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"Where am I?"

He leans against the wall, his face a mask I cannot see beyond. "One of the Akatsuki hideouts." His candor takes me aback. I press my lips together and bite the inside of my cheek, trying to think. The fever must have racked my brains, because I find it difficult to think straight. I shake my head.

"Please," I say, licking my lips, doing my best to keep my voice levelled. "Please, you have to let me go."

"Why is that?"

I stare back at him. The nonchalance in his tone ticks me off. Of course, Itachi cannot possibly know I am after his little brother, but this does nothing to appease me. The pain is getting worse and I'm feeling dizzier by the minute. It also feels like I'm breathing fire, so the fever has not succumbed yet. I don't want to pass out again, not with Itachi Uchiha around, but I don't think I have much of a choice in this matter. I don't know what to tell him, so I divert his question with one of my own.

"What do you want from me?"

He seems to consider my question for a moment and then he shakes his head. "You should rest. You're still unwell."

The anger inside me bubbles up and erupts without warning. I jump up, clenching my fists. "Answer me, you murderer! _Shannarou!_ _"_

Itachi's Sharingan bores into my eyes, burning its way into my soul. For a moment, I glance through his mask and see a flicker of pain. Then the Sharingan's _tomoe_ begin to spin hypnotically and I find myself back in Konoha.

My breath stops. The moon is high above me and the sky is full of stars and I can feel someone behind me. Sasuke's smell is bittersweet. A tear forms in the corner of my eye as he says my name and I feel the blow in the back of my head. I feel the pain as my world turns to ashes and the wind blows it away again like it never existed.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

When I wake up again, the room is darker than before, and warmer. My eyes feel puffy and every fiber of my body seems to be protesting in some way. Some of them feel stiff (how long have I lain here?), but most of me hurts in a hundred thousand different ways. The pain in my side is the most vocal and I feel some chakra in my system, so I place a hand over it to dull the pain. I don't know if I have enough to start forcing the cells to regenerate.

As the healing chakra gradually fades away, I manage to sit up and unwrap the bandages around my belly. The wound looks clean. More than that, it has been stitched shut by a neat and practiced hand. I doubt they have medic-nin in the Akatsuki just sitting around. Itachi? I can't imagine him putting so much effort in making the stitches even.

The door opens and I push my blouse down quickly, feeling the heat rising to my cheeks. Itachi steps in, carrying a steaming bowl of something. He stops by the door, like before, and he looks at me. A few moments pass in awkward silence before he speaks.

"I brought you something to eat."

My face contorts into a frown as if it has a will of its own. Part of me knows I need that food. I must replenish my forces if I'm to somehow get out of here, away from him. I will my facial muscles to relax, but the best I can do is look sullen rather than angry. I nod my head slowly and he steps close enough to put the bowl in my hands before backing away. For a moment, I relish in the thought that he will leave me alone now, but he merely sits on the lone chair by the table.

My hands are shaking, even as the warmth of the _miso_ soup seeps into them. The fact that I know he's watching me doesn't help. I grab the chopsticks and force myself to put the first bite into my mouth. It's better than I expected. My stomach groans in appreciation.

I glance at Itachi, whose eyes are set on me like he's studying me. It makes me uneasy. His cloak is gone, giving me access to his body language. He seems quite at ease around me. And why wouldn't he be? He clearly thinks I pose no threat in any state, especially not my current one. I grow bitter as I think about it and keep eating to take my mind off it. Always a mile behind everyone around me. It's not working very well, is it? _Shannarou_ …

I place the bowl in my lap, feeling like I couldn't stomach another bite.

"I would finish that if I were you," he says, startling me. I'd almost forgotten he's here. "We set out tomorrow and you'll need your strength."

"We?"

"I thought it was clear I can't let you go."

"I don't understand," I say, an undercurrent of irritation in my tone. "I don't see what use I could possibly be-"

My mind works faster than my mouth can process. The words die in my throat as I make the connection. I smile bitterly.

"Sasuke wouldn't come for me," I say. My voice is shaking, but I don't care. Deep down, I've always known it. "But Naruto would. It's him you want, isn't it?"

For the first time, I see Itachi Uchiha smile. It frightens me.

Leaving Konoha on my own, thinking I could make it to Sasuke and convince him to come back with me… it was all stupid. Ino would have slapped me silly if she had known. I would be thanking her for it now. Except she doesn't know. Right now, the others might have figured out where I was headed, but they have no way of finding me. How could they? Even I have no idea where I am.

My only chance of fixing the damage I've done is to escape. If Itachi plans to drag me along, it's all the better - I will find a way to run. I may not be strong enough to fight my way out, but I'm smart enough to find another way. I have to, _shannarou_! Suddenly, my appetite is back. I look down into the bowl of _miso_ soup with newfound determination and start eating again, bite after bite, until the bowl is empty.

When I look up at Itachi, he's still staring at me, a hint of amusement on his face. I'm suddenly worried he might have read my mind. I know it's not possible, so I must have let too much show on my face. I berate myself inwardly for it, but the damage has been done. I can't help it when I get all pumped up like that. I bite my tongue and hold out the bowl.

"Thank you for the meal," I say.

* * *

She was like an open book. This usually happened when you knew which buttons to push and the exact amount of pressure to put on them.

He reached out to take the bowl from her and a sharp pain exploded in his chest as he did, causing him to hesitate for a split second. Sakura was so absorbed in her thoughts she did not seem to notice. Itachi gradually let out the breath he'd been holding as the pain began to fade, slackening its grip on his lungs.

Beads of sweat formed on his forehead, but he turned around and left before she could see them. Before the pain returned.

He needed to rest.

* * *

I hear the lock on the door and lie back down, pulling the covers up to my chin.

He winced. He hid it well. He doesn't think I noticed, but I've been trained to notice. Two can play this game of hide and seek. Now he's left me wondering. Is it a wound? Is he ill? Everything I know about Itachi Uchiha suggests he is not one to get badly hurt. An illness is more likely. My mind is itching for answers I know I'm not going to get. I mostly toy with the idea of using this to my advantage somehow – it is proof that he is not infallible, it is hope. There is a chink in Itachi Uchiha's armor, and there has to be a way to exploit it.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I fumble with the straps of my equipment, finding it hard to move my arms around too much. I don't feel quite as drained as I did yesterday, though I doubt I'm in any shape to escape today. It would be foolhardy to even try. I need to bide my time, gather my strength and, while I'm at it, get used to the company I'll be keeping.

Akatsuki work pairs, that much I know. I don't know who Itachi's partner is, though. I might have read about him in the Bingo Book, but I can't look through it now, as Itachi confiscated all my belongings.

There he is now, his timing impeccable. I have just finished putting on my sandals. I still feel naked without the weapon pouch strapped to my thigh. He has something in his hand, something long and dark.

"No," I say, staring at it.

"I'm afraid I can't give you a choice."

Every muscle in my body tenses as I grudgingly allow him to tie the blindfold over my eyes. His knuckles brush against my cheek for a moment and I recoil, thinking of all the blood on those hands. For a moment, I imagine I can almost smell it and my stomach cringes painfully.

The world goes dark. How am I supposed to walk? I want to ask, but I feel his hand grabbing mine and I'm surprised by how warm it feels. What did I expect? After all, 'cold-blooded murderer' is a figure of speech. Bemused, I stand up and follow as he tugs gently. The air is slightly colder outside the room and although I try to keep some sense of direction, by the time we stop I have no idea which way we went.

I hear a deep rumble to my right and I realize someone is chuckling. Itachi's voice is deep too, but softer. This must be his partner.

"Look what the cat dragged in," the stranger says. " _Nee,_ Itachi-san, do you think she's up for this? Your pretty _kunoichi_ looks like she could collapse at any moment."

I bite my tongue, my lips. It's wiser to just keep quiet. But I am NOT _his_ 'pretty kunoichi', _shannarou_!

"Let me worry about that," Itachi replies dryly.

"Let's go, then," his partner says.

My hand slips into Itachi's once more and I'm being pulled forward. I follow quietly, wondering how much distance we're going to cover like this. It probably won't be long before they realize exactly how big of an inconvenience this blindfold is. The air grows colder as we move through the hideout towards the exit. It only takes a couple of minutes or so until I can smell the wind and a moment later, I feel it blow through my hair.

Itachi lets go of my hand. I feel momentarily lost, I hadn't expected that. I hear him move around. My hand reaches out for him on a whim, but he's gone from my side. Instead, I hear his voice from the front.

"Here. Grab on."

I hold out my hands and touch the soft, worn material of his cloak. I realize I'm touching his back and I know what he wants. My hands travel upwards, to his shoulders. He crouches, his hands reach under my thighs and he picks me up like I weigh no more than a sack of feathers – which, incidentally, I know is far from the truth. My arms coil around his neck and a small breath of surprise escapes from between my lips as he jumps.

We're moving fast. Strands of his hair are tickling my cheek as I press myself against him. I haven't been carried like this in quite some time. I'd forgotten how embarrassing this can be, and how uncomfortable. _Sasuke never carried me like this_ ,my mind blurts out, discontented. A wave of sadness washes over me. I forget where I am and rest my chin on his shoulder.

This is not how it was supposed to be.

I feel Itachi's grip on me tightening infinitesimally, his breath caught in his chest for a moment too long. Whatever this is, he soldiers through it and picks up the pace. I am, once more, intrigued. My senses are on alert for any other sign, and I wait for what seems like hours, but nothing happens. I am forced to let my guard down, eventually.

I feel as tired as if I'm the one doing the running with a sack of potatoes on my back. My arms are tingling, my legs are numb from the knee down. I think I'm going to fall asleep. My head feels heavy and I can't keep it up anymore, so I lay it down on his shoulder. Darkness beckons me. Itachi smells like summer wind, rain and smoke.

* * *

He felt her body become limp against him and slowed down until he found a sturdy branch to lay her down on. Kisame realized they had stopped and hopped back, looking at the sleeping girl.

"Want me to carry her for a while, Itachi-san?"

Itachi shook his head, struggling to control his breathing. The pain in his chest had been building up and he had been looking forward to her passing out or falling asleep. She had taken her sweet time.

Kisame gave him a long look, measuring him head to toe. Itachi pretended not to notice. He sat on the branch and took a sip of water at a time, not wating to start coughing. Samehada swung down from Kisame's shoulder and the Kiri-nin leaned on it.

"This one's a bit time-senzitive," he said. "How about I go ahead and finish it and then we can rendezvous at that _onsen_ in the nearby village."

Itachi thought about it for a moment, then consented. It would have been reckless to go on like this, pretending nothing was wrong with him. Hopefully, Kisame had not caught on, although Itachi was certain he suspected something more than just the strain from carrying Sakura.

" _Ja ne_ ," Kisame said before taking off.

Knowing Kisame's usual pace, he would be back the following day. A simple assassination had no reason to take him any longer than that. Itachi sighed and leaned back against the trunk, looking up at the sky. He could allow himself a few minutes to recover before setting out again.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The world is still dark when I opened my eyes, but as I rub them, I realize I'm not wearing the blindfold anymore. I sit up slowly. As my eyes adjust to the absence of light, I begin to discern my surroundings: a simple room, twice the size of my bedroom back in Konoha. Unlike the room at the previous hideout, this one has a window and it's open. I can hear the crickets outside.

Itachi? I look around and find him sleeping less than a foot away from me, covered up to his chest, breathing slowly. I freeze. I've never seen him asleep before. My mind is racing. If I can sneak up to the window, I can run. My heart picks up its pace, fluttering madly. I could escape. I can almost taste the freedom.

My hand trembles as I pull the covers and slip out of them soundlessly. My sandals are all the way across the room, so I leave them. It's not worth risking the chance for a pair shoes. I tiptoe towards the window, pausing every now again to look over my shoulder. Itachi hasn't stirred.

Three steps. Two. One. My hand touches the window sill and I see a sliver of the moon among countless stars. I push chakra into my legs, feeling euphoric, but as I move forward to jump, I hit something soft and warm. I pull back to see Itachi standing between me and the window, his eyes still closed. When they open, there is no trace of the Sharingan in them. They are dark, like Sasuke-kun's. His arm is barring my way out.

"No," I whisper as frustration builds up in the pit of my stomach. The chakra from my legs moves into my hands, which I curl into fists. Without thinking, I launch a fully chakra-infused blow, aiming for Itachi's side.

His other hand catches my fist in an iron grip, immobilizing it. He's not going down without a fight. I have no idea what I was expecting. Before I know it, he turns me around, twisting my arm. Now every move I make is laced with pain. One of his arms is holding me from the front, so I bite down on it hard enough to fill my mouth with the metallic taste of blood.

He lets me go, pushing me away from the window, then stands in front of it, holding his injured arm. I spin on my heels, my eyes swimming in tears.

"I hate you! I HATE YOU!" I start screaming, losing all control faster than I knew I could, all my training gone with the wind. I rub my shoulder. The seizing of my arm stretched some ligaments. It could have been much worse, but I don't care right now. I'm seeing red, and it's not the Sharingan. He hasn't bothered with it, since I'm clearly no threat to him. Somehow, that only makes me angrier.

I launch myself forward and hit. Once. Twice. Again. He blocks them all. This is child's play to him, I realize. He must find me terribly amusing. I let my arms hang. I'm trapped, I know. It doesn't matter how clever I am, Itachi will always be one step in front of me. Just like everyone else.

"Sakura," he says. It takes me by surprise for some reason. Clearly, he knew who I was the moment he took me hostage, but it never crossed my mind that he might know my name. I look up at him and now that the tears have rolled down my cheeks and are not blurring my vision anymore, I can see just how tired he looks.

The dark circles under his eyes look like bruises in this light. His skin is pale, clammy. I thrust my arm forward towards his chest, but he grabs my wrist before I can touch him. I glare at him.

"You're sick," I tell him.

"I know," he says, his grip not slackening one bit as his eyes measure me carefully. I don't think he has enough energy to waste on activating the Sharingan right now. He's worse than I thought.

I may not be as good at _taijutsu_ as he is, admittedly, but medical _ninjutsu_ is something he has no way of countering. And he doesn't trust me. Why would he? He knows I could hurt him if I got to him. He knows I could paralyze every nerve in his body, rewire them, destroy them root and stem. He knows I could make him hurt in a hundred thousand different ways. But he is hurting already.

"All the suffering in the world wouldn't be punishment enough for what you did to Sasuke-kun," I say.

After that, I feel strangely empty. It's like I've been drained of all emotion.

* * *

Sakura turned around and walked back to the bed. Itachi leaned against the window sill, bringing a hand up to his chest. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out a few times, slowly, so as to not cause himself too much pain. He had not managed to get much sleep before she woke up and he doubted he would be getting any now.

After a while, Itachi closed the window and placed a seal on it to make sure she would not be able to open it. He then walked soundlessly across the room, more shadow than man, opened the door and slipped out.

* * *

I lie in bed for a while after he leaves. Try as I may, my eyes just won't stay shut. I know he sealed the window, so I won't even bother with it. Knowing him, he's probably sealed the door, too. There's nothing to do except stare at the ceiling, hoping to fall asleep. But it seems sleep continues to elude me.

I think about Sasuke-kun a lot. About how him and Itachi are almost nothing alike. I think about Naruto, too, and wonder where he is now. I hope they're not coming after me. Or rather, I hope he and Kakashi-sensei don't find me. I think about my parents and how my selfishness must hurt them. And Tsunade-sama must be outraged. I even spare a thought for Ino.

Then I'm all out of people to think about and I'm left with myself. I'd rather not. I should find something better to do. I turn on my side and notice Itachi's cloak, neatly folded beside his unmade bed. _Weapons_ , I think. He must have weapons concealed in it.

I jump out of bed, unfold it and turn it inside out. It's got quite a number of concealed pockets, but my hope drains as I find each and every one of them empty. How can this be? Where does he keep his arsenal? I almost leave it there like that, not giving a damn if he notices or not, when my fingers brush over something strange.

I touch it again. It feels like a small, hard object sewn under the lining. My curiosity is piqued and, having nothing sharp to cut it out with, I put some chakra in my hands and tear the fabric. A tiny scroll drops on my lap.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I light a candle.

The object seems to be a kind of scroll used to deliver messages via birds, but when I open it I see it's blank. I think for a moment. Itachi would not go through all the trouble of sewing it into his cloak unless it contained something. It has been sealed to protect its contents from prying eyes, then. I frown, racking my brains. How many ways do I know to reveal sealed information? Not many. But if I'm wrong, everything in this tiny scroll might be lost forever.

I turn the scroll over and over in my other hand. I don't know how much Itachi plans to be gone for, so I have to assume I don't have much time. I try a few harmless jutsus, but the damn thing stays blank. I should have known better than to think this was going to be easy.

As I'm chewing on a nail, I taste blood again. There are a couple of smears on the side of my hand and I realize it must be Itachi's from when I bit him. I smile. If his blood won't do the trick, I don't know what would. It's dry now, but I bite one of my fingers to draw blood and press it on Itachi's. Then I put the smear against the soft paper and hold it for a couple of moments.

Writing starts to appear, unintelligible at first, then clear, albeit cramped. I read it and I don't realize I'm holding my breath until I finish. My hand falls in my lap. What is this? I keep asking myself over and over again. I read it again, though it doesn't make more sense than it did the first time.

Then I feel someone outside the room and I back away from the candle, holding the scroll so tightly my fingers are starting to tingle. Itachi opens the door and pauses, probably unsettled by the expression on my face. His eyes then fall on the crumpled cloak beside his bed, on the tear in the fabric. The door closes and my stomach twists sickeningly.

There's no point in hiding. I know that, as I see red seeping into the black of his eyes.

"Kindly return what you took," he says, but there is no kindness in his voice.

I throw it to him and he catches it in one hand. I glare right back at him.

"Explain yourself," I say. "Now."

He frowns and the look in his eyes is enough to chill me to the bone. "I don't have to explain myself to anyone, least of all to you."

"Do the Akatsuki know you're ratting out on them to Konoha?"

In the blink of an eye, I find myself slammed against the wall and Itachi's hand is closing in around my throat. I force myself to keep my eyes open, even as his grip tightens, drawing tears from them.

"Be. Quiet." He breathes those two words in my face and for the first time I am truly, utterly terrified. His quiet demeanor from the last few days had me underestimating his willingness to hurt. To kill. My eyes are still wide open, staring into the red abyss of the Sharingan.

"I won't tell!" I manage to say, but I'm starting to gasp for air and I think it's too late for any of that. "I just… want to understand…"

I'm seeing stars. Hot, white stars. Colors swim before my eyes as my lungs cry for oxygen.

All of the sudden his hand is gone from around my throat and I collapse on the floor, gasping for air. I look up and he's on the other side of the room, looking down at me. I don't understand. I touch my neck, checking for damage to my airways, but nothing seems amiss. I realize I can breathe just fine. _Genjutsu_ , I think, trembling, as I move into a sitting position and slump against the wall. It was only _genjutsu_.

I look away from him, squeezing my eyes shut to protect myself. I hear him coming near and I feel the warmth radiating from his body as he crouches in front of me. A cold shiver runs down my spine. I wrap my arms around myself, curling into a ball.

"Sakura," he says. "Look at me."

His tone is such that I can't find it in me to disobey. He's holding the scroll in the palm of his hand and as I look at it, his chakra sets it ablaze.

"There is nothing for you to understand. I don't want to hurt you, but don't force my hand."

I sit there, dumbfounded, as he stands up to leave. In my head, I quickly count the things I know about Itachi Uchiha. One: he is Sasuke-kun's older brother. Two: he killed his entire clan in one night, sparing Sasuke-kun. Three: he left Konoha and became a missing-nin. Four: he joined the Akatsuki. Four is an unlucky number, because it is sometimes pronounced like 'death'.

Having read what I did, number three and number four seem to have more to them than I thought. And having done number three because of number two, something might just be off about that too. I've never given much thought to why Itachi killed the entire Uchiha clan. To me, the reason has always been eclipsed by the horror of the massacre itself. It's as if I only now come to realize no one does things like that without a reason. I'm surprised by my own ignorance.

I wonder if Sasuke-kun ever thought about it. A tear trickles down on my cheek and it tickles, so I wipe it away with the back of my hand. My heart rate is only now coming back to normal after Itachi's _genjutsu_.

I look up at Itachi and see him folding his cloak. A thought crosses my befuddled mind - a thought equally ridiculous and terrifying. I grab on to it, turn it on all sides. I can feel the blood slowly draining from my face as the implication sinks in. I bite my lips, close my eyes, breathe in and start counting again.

One: Itachi is Sasuke's older brother.

Two: Itachi was ordered to kill the entire Uchiha clan.

Three: Itachi left Konoha as part of the cover-up.

Four: Itachi joined the Akatsuki to spy on them.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Itachi-san, your cherry blossom seems a bit wilted today," Kisame says after pouring a cup of steaming sake down his throat. "You said you'd take care of her."

Itachi ignores him. I do the same.

The Kiri-nin arrived this afternoon and if I hadn't been so worked up over my theory, his appearance might have startled me. However, after last night, I don't think anything will make an impression on me for a while. I spent the day cooped up with Itachi in an awkward silence, inwardly debating whether I should ask him about it or not. In the end, I decided against it. We've pushed each other's buttons enough for the time being.

I push my still half-full plate of _barazushi_ away and drink some tea instead. I haven't really had an appetite today.

"We can leave in the morning, _nee_ , Itachi-san?" I hear Kisame asking. "I'd like to try the hot bath before we leave."

"Hn."

Itachi finishes his food and drains his cup of tea, then stands up abruptly. I haven't finished mine, but I follow his cue and walk away from the table, back to my 'cell', which is on the first floor of the establishment. It's quiet inside, and as we climb the stairs I hear Itachi's breath catching again. By the time he closes the door to our room, he starts to cough.

It's quick and violent, racking his body as it follows its course. I count the moments it takes for it to succumb. When Itachi lowers the hand from his mouth, I notice blood. Clearly, he was feeling ill downstairs and he didn't want Kisame to know.

"Sit down, please," I tell him quietly, the first words I'm saying to him since last night.

He shakes his head, drawing in short, ragged breaths.

I owe him nothing, _shannarou_! If anything, I should be watching him suffer with a smile on my face. Two things prevent me from doing just that: the thought that Itachi Uchiha might not be the man everyone thinks he is and my pledge to help those who need me as a medic-nin.

"How long has this been going on?" I ask. When he doesn't reply, I step towards him. He shoots me a glare, Sharingan blazing. I stop and raise my hands. "I can help you," I say, deciding to give it another try. "But you need to trust me. What's the worse that can happen? If I knock you out and try to run, your friend downstairs will just wrap me up and deliver me straight back to you."

He look incredulous. Also dead-tired. His lips are starting to have a blue tinge and I don't like the look of that. He's not getting enough oxygen. At this rate, he'll soon pass out without my having to do anything with it.

Just when I'm about to give up, Itachi walks up to the bed and sits. I go to his side and place my hands on his back. I can feel his muscles tense, but I don't stop. Green chakra lights up around my hands and I push it into his system. The damage to his lungs is the work of almost a year and it would take me at least twice that much to heal them completely.

I do all I can for the time being. I ease his pain and dilate his airways to allow him to breathe. I identify the cause of the blood he coughed up and take care of it. I am so absorbed in my work, I don't notice how quickly my chakra drains. But when it fades, Itachi is breathing normally again. Color has returned to his face.

"You haven't been taking care of yourself," I say. His body is struggling with more than a couple of deficiencies, stress, tiredness and whatnot. Funny, I never would have imagined Itachi as one to stress over things. I don't tell him any of that. Instead, I tell him: "You should rest now."

Itachi's Sharingan fades to black. He closes his eyes for a while. I begin to think that he's fallen asleep already, that after feeling high from the sudden absence of pain, tiredness has overwhelmed him. I place a hand on his shoulder to get him to lie down and he starts, taken by surprise. Imagine that, taking an Uchiha by surprise. My lips curl into a smile at that thought.

Then I realize what I'm doing and my smile turns upside down. This is Itachi Uchiha I'm nursing back to health. I'm not supposed to be here. He's the wrong Uchiha. I'm betraying Sasuke-kun and everything he believes in, _shannarou_ … But what if the reason Sasuke-kun hates Itachi for is all wrong? Would he care enough to listen? I scoff inside. Does he ever?

Itachi doesn't wake up for hours. He doesn't move, he doesn't make a sound. At some point, I go to check if he's still breathing, but he's only deep asleep. Not even my brushing a lock of hair from his forehead wakes him up. I leave him be.

I return to my place and pick up the book I'd been reading. He has removed all weapons from my backpack, but left everything else untouched, including this medical book. For lack of something else to do, I started reading it again, though I've finished it twice before.

I don't realize how fast time flies until I can't see anymore. When I look up, the sky is a dark shade of lavender. I light a candle and keep going. I focus my attention on the chapter dealing with respiratory diseases and forget there is a world out there.

Itachi wakes up around midnight. I hear him stir and put the book down, but I don't move. His head turns toward the window and he jumps up when he realizes it's wide open.

"I'm here," I say. He looks at me, perplexed. "The air got a bit stuffy," I explain with a shrug of my shoulders. That seal of his gave me some trouble, but I don't mention it. Let him think it was a piece of cake. He probably doesn't understand why I'm still here, though. It's okay, I'm not sure I understand either.

I thought I knew all I needed to know to hate this man. At first, it was enough for me to know that Sasuke-kun hates him. Then Sasuke-kun left to become stronger in order to defeat Itachi and the hatred became my own.

Looking at Itachi now, the loathing I had for him is gone. Something's missing. Something doesn't add up. I'm like a child looking at an incomplete puzzle and in my hand is a piece that doesn't fit. What do I do now?

Find the missing piece, _shannarou!_


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It feels good to be running on my own two feet again. Exhilarating. I relish in the adrenaline rush it gives me. I'm also free of that cumbersome blindfold, now that we're nowhere near the Akatsuki hideout. My eyes try to encompass everything they see, drinking in the landscape, even though it's mainly cliffs and rocks in these badlands we're crossing.

Every now and again, Kisame looks over his shoulder to make sure I'm still here. He, of course, has no reason to believe I won't run if given a chance. Itachi and I alone know the truth: I had that chance. I chose to stay. I don't care what Itachi imagines my reasons are.

He's been showing signs of improvement during the last few days, after our stay at the _onsen_. His skin has gained a healthy color, the dark circles under his eyes have faded and he hasn't lost his breath once since then. I do keep an eye on him, though, because I know it won't last for long. He can't heal on his own. He needs treatment if he's ever to make a full recovery.

I can help him, but not with Kisame around. I haven't had a chance to talk to him alone since we left the _onsen._ At night, we camp in the open and Kisame never leaves us alone for long. I don't dare talk to Itachi about this while his partner is asleep, either. I don't know how deep of a sleeper he is, even though he sometimes snores loud enough to wake the dead.

"Hey, _kunoichi!_ " Kisame says, slowing down to run beside me. I look at him curiously, wondering what he wants. He doesn't usually address me, but he does talk about me with Itachi as if I'm not there. "I've been struggling to remember why you seem so familiar," he goes on, and I'm surprised to hear he spent time thinking about me. "I think Deidara mentioned a pink-haired _kunoichi_ being the one who killed Sasori."

I swallow the lump in my throat. It wasn't all me. Chiyo-sama did most of the work. What would he do if he knew I did kill a fellow Akatsuki? I can't tell from his tone.

"She's the one," Itachi says, saving me the trouble. Kisame stares at me for a while. I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable under his half-human stare and just as I'm about to look away, he grins.

"You're not all looks, then," he says, and takes the lead again.

Itachi stays behind with me, a few steps behind Kisame. I realize my mouth is open and I close it, but I'm still dumbfounded. What was that supposed to mean? I am a _kunoichi_ , of course I can fight, _shannarou!_ I'm getting angry, but as I keep listening to him say it in my mind, I come to realize Kisame must have meant it as a compliment of sorts. What a strange… person. I'm not sure I can call him a man.

We stop to set camp at sunset, at the base of a rocky outcrop. I shrug off my backpack and move my shoulders for a bit. My back hurts from carrying it all day, not to mention how my legs are burning from the effort. It's been a while since I've felt this good and it makes me smile.

I turn around after my stretching exercises and see Itachi standing alone, staring at me. I look around, but there's no trace of Kisame.

"He left to look for firewood," Itachi tells me.

Good luck with that, I think to myself. I've hardly seen a tree since we entered the badlands. There are some bushes around, but the wood is green and would make too much smoke. It takes me a while to realize what that means.

"Sit," I tell Itachi, already walking the distance towards him. He must know we're still pressed for time and doesn't object. "How have you been feeling?" I ask as I pour healing chakra into him.

"Better," he deigns to admit.

I can feel Itachi's muscles relax after a while. The last time we did this, he was taut as a bowstring. He's not used to being touched, I imagine. It's easier for me this time, knowing what I'm in for and what must be done. If I could, I would make my job easier still by having him take medicine, but I have no supplies, no place to prepare it, and I can almost feel Kisame breathing down my neck.

"This is manageable," I tell him. "I can fix the damage and you'll need to take better care of yourself to keep it in check, but it's a treatable condition."

I talk to him as I would to any other patient, forgeting who he is for a moment. But he manages to bring me back with only four words.

"Why do you care?"

They leave me speechless. I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath.

"I don't know," I say, and I really don't.

He seems to accept my answer for what it is: the truth. I could have lied. I could have told him I don't really care, but lying to him would be lying to myself. I don't know what he expected to hear.

"Why did you spare Sasuke-kun?" I hear myself asking out of the blue.

Itachi looks away, ignoring my question. The last of my healing chakra fades, but I don't find it in me to remove my hands from his back.

Naruto once told me what happened when Itachi came after him, years ago. Sasuke-kun attacked Itachi and Itachi told Sasuke-kun he wasn't strong enough to face him. That he lacked hatred. I wasn't there when it happened, but I remember how Sasuke-kun was when they brought him back. He was in the hospital for days.

Looking at Itachi now, it's like Naruto was talking about a different person altogether. I don't doubt he did any of the things Naruto said. What I doubt are the motives behind his actions.

The sound of firewood hitting the ground startles me. I pull back my hands and turn around. Kisame's standing there, grinning all the way up to his ears.

"Am I interrupting something?" he says.

For the first time I feel the urge to punch his face in.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Itachi and I are sitting under a tree. It's pouring and Kisame hasn't returned from wherever he is.

Days have been going by in a blur of places. Most of the time, I have no idea where we are and by the time I figure it out, we're already on the move. Itachi and Kisame never talk about anything related to the Akatsuki when I'm around. I tried eavesdropping on them, but Itachi caught me every time, so I gave up on that. My presence seems to amuse Kisame, however, so there's that.

I pull my knees up to my chest, thinking, for the first time in a while, about Konoha. It's been almost two weeks since I left. I have been trying to keep it out of my mind, if only to avoid feeling guilty of being in the company of S-rank criminals, one of whom defected from our village.

"Do you ever think about Konoha?" I ask Itachi on a whim. I don't expect him to reply. He tends to ignore personal questions. He does it this time, too.

"Did you have friends?" I keep going, already used to his silence.

"Two," he says after a few moments, taking me completely by surprise.

"Where are they now?"

"Dead."

My smile fades, the joy I felt at finally learning something new about Itachi gone. It would be insensitive of me to ask if they're dead because they were Uchiha.

The rain keeps pattering against the ground and, for a while, it's the only sound we hear. Itachi has leaned his head back against the tree. His eyes are closed and raindrops are running down his face like tears. I wonder what is going through his mind right now. Perhaps he's reminiscing about the time spent with his friends, like I'm thinking of the days Team 7 was still together.

Inevitably, my thoughts come to dwell on Sasuke-kun. When is the last time I saw him, I wonder? It can't have been so long ago. It was at that abandoned hideout of Orochimaru's. How much has he changed since then? Is his hair still short or has he let it grow? Is he taller than Itachi is now?

I open my eyes. Why am I comparing Sasuke-kun to Itachi? They are nothing alike.

"Do you really plan to use me to capture Naruto for the Akatsuki?"

"No."

"Sasuke would," I say, my voice wavering. Deep down, I know it's true. "If it would give him enough power to defeat you, there's nothing Sasuke wouldn't do." I look at Itachi, aware of the tears in my eyes. "You _made_ him like that," I tell him. "Is that really what you wanted from him?"

Itachi looks at me and my heart skips a beat. I expected a glare, his usual means of telling me to back down. Instead, I see a world of pain in his eyes.

"No," he says.

I'm at a loss for words. I stare at him, unable to formulate a single coherent thought, while in my chest, my heart is breaking. I think about Sasuke, walking the path set before him, losing himself along the way.

"Then why did you do this to him?" I ask, letting my tears fall.

He hesitates. "Because I was selfish."

"What do you mean? What really happened that night?" I decide to try asking again, hoping against hope that he will tell the truth a third time in a row. He brushes me off.

"It doesn't matter."

I bite my lip, decide it's time to push my luck. "Did someone order you to do it?"

Itachi turns away from me. Our little episode of truth and dare is over. He's shutting me out again. Or rather, he's shutting himself in. I'm left to guess. Nothing he said points me in the right direction. All I know now is that he never wanted this for Sasuke. It seems more important than anything for some reason, but I'm too upset to think clearly. All I see is the look in Itachi's eyes when he said it.

He's aware of what he's done to Sasuke-kun. He hates himself for it. How long has he been tormenting himself over it?

"Itachi-" I begin to say, wanting to apologize, but he clamps a hand over my mouth. I have no idea when he moved. A moment ago he was sitting next to me and now he's crouched over me, glaring at something in the distance. He would know if it were Kisame, meaning this isn't him. My heart starts beating fast. Frustration is building up in me, since I can't look the way Itachi does. I didn't see or hear anything. What is he so worked up over?

Then I hear them. There's a small group headed our way, three or four by the sound of their voices. I freeze. Can the two of us take down four people at once? Itachi seems intent on avoiding confrontation. He quietly moves off me, removing his hand from my mouth and tugging on my arm. He wants me to follow, so I move silently away from the tree, counting my steps as I focus on not making a single sound.

I hear them talking again, louder this time and I start wondering if we'll make it away from here in time.

"I told that _baka_ to watch it, because the place was rigged with explosives, but did he listen? No! He went and blew his _baka_ ass off!"

"Hey, I'm right here!"

For a team of _shinobi_ , they're quite loud. That usually means one of two things: either they are very stupid, or very powerful. Itachi and I make our way in the opposite direction. A little way from us, the treeline meets the edge of the cliff. We can disappear there. I wipe the rain from my face with the back of my free hand. The other one is in Itachi's iron grip. It's like he's afraid I'm going to run all of the sudden.

"Shut up, Suigetsu, you moron!"

"Both of you be quiet."

I freeze. My legs stop listening to me. I hold my breath as I turn to look over my shoulder. I hear Itachi sigh behind me and his hand releases my wrist, but I barely feel anything. I turn around, forgetting all about him.

All I see is Sasuke.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

A swarm of butterflies take flight in my stomach, swirling like mad. It's like time has slowed to a halt. His face swims before my eyes. He hasn't changed since the last time I saw him. Maybe grown a bit taller, but that's about it. I don't know how long I stand there, staring, while the rain soaks into my clothes and hair. Moments pass like hours.

He turns his head. He sees me. My lips start to form a smile. But a shadow darkens Sasuke's face and my smile freezes like a flower touched by an early winter's chill. It withers and dies as I realize he's not looking at me, but at the person behind me. I remember Itachi is with me and my heart skips a beat.

"Sakura." The hatred in Sasuke's voice chills me to the bone. "What are you doing?"

With _him_ , he means. What am I doing with Itachi, here. I don't know. I'm too afraid to answer, my lips won't move. Something grabs my hand and I realize it's Itachi, pulling me behind him as he steps forward, concealing me. Protecting me?

"She's my prisoner," Itachi says, his voice equally cold.

I hear the sound of steel and I know Sasuke has drawn his sword. Itachi doesn't move. I peer at Sasuke's group from behind him and see his three companions have stepped back. They've probably been told not to interfere in a situation like this. Sasuke wants Itachi all for himself.

"Not for long," Sasuke says, stepping forward.

"I don't feel like fighting you today, _otouto_. Maybe some other time."

Itachi's feigned indifference only serves to further inflame Sasuke. His face contorts into a scowl. It makes me step back without even realizing it. How Itachi can maintain appearances when his little brother has that murderous look in his eyes is beyond me.

"I don't care how you feel," Sasuke says.

Three things happen next: Itachi pushes me back. Sasuke leaps forward, sword raised high above his head. In my head, I hear myself asking: " _Is that really what you wanted from him?"_.

A scream catches in my throat as Itachi blocks Sasuke's sword with a kunai.

I'm trembling. I'm afraid. Why?

Sasuke's sword lights up with electricity, but Itachi kicks him in the stomach before it can do him any harm. Sasuke blows a fireball back at him as he flies through the air. Itachi counters it with a water jutsu. They're moving so fast they're almost a blur to the rest of us, who don't have the Sharingan.

I see myself, years ago, running on a hospital roof to stop two boys from hurting each other and my eyes fill with tears. I have tried so hard and yet, here I am, just as powerless. Foolish, weak Sakura, just standing here on the sidelines again, unable to do anything to stop two brothers from killing each other.

Even without attacking himself, Itachi manages to keep Sasuke at bay, but I fear the effort may take a toll on him. Sasuke has turned into a force to be reckoned with. Moments later, I know I'm right, because I see Itachi hesitate as he twists midair, deflecting another one of Sasuke's blows. He lands a bit further away and I catch glimpse of his torn sleeve before he vanishes again, avoiding his brother's incessant attacks.

This is wrong, I scream with every fiber of my being, but no one hears me. No one ever listens. I've been pushed into the background again, ignored. Do something Sakura, I tell myself, but my legs won't move.

I see Itachi land a few feet away from me and Sasuke rushing at him wielding a monstrous Raikiri in his left fist.

"Stop!" I scream. "Stop it this instant!"

Sasuke doesn't stop. My fear turns into pain, into anger, into determination.

I pull out a kunai, mentally kick myself and start running. In a moment I'm right between them. I can see Sasuke coming, an expression of surprise on his face. He's too close to me, he can't stop, can't divert the Raikiri. I think more than anything, he's surprised I would stand between him and his nemesis.

"Listen to me, _SHANNAROU_!" I shout, and I'm still looking at him as I raise a fist and punch the ground, releasing all the chakra I've been accumulating in that hand.

Itachi moves away in time, but the shockwave sends Sasuke flying backwards as the ground fractures beneath our feet. His Raikiri hits a tree and destroys its trunk, causing it to nearly fall over his teammates. I throw my kunai at Sasuke and pin him to a boulder for good measure, if only to delay him.

I slowly stand up in the middle of the crater I've created, certain that I have everyone's full attention now. Sasuke pulls out the kunai that's restraining him. His eyes are on me.

"What is the meaning of this, Sakura?"

I realize for the first time how much him saying my name sounds more like he's hissing it. Of course, he's mad at me right now. He doesn't understand. I don't blame him. I still don't understand myself.

"I just want you to stop," I tell him.

He cocks his head. Considers my words for a moment. "You're in my way," he says. "Move."

" _Is that really what you wanted from him?"_

I remember the look in Itachi's eyes when he said 'no'.

Itachi didn't want this. He must have loved Sasuke. Loved his parents as any child would. I still don't have the missing piece in the puzzle that is Itachi, but I know he feels guilty about how Sasuke turned out - the result of his own selfishness, he called it.

At some point, somewhere, something went terribly wrong. I don't believe Itachi is to blame for that. Not anymore.

"No," I tell Sasuke, surprising both him and myself.

I don't have time to thing about it, though, because the moment it's out of my mouth, he jumps at me with the sword drawn and I barely have any time to raise a kunai in my defense. Our weapons kiss with a loud clang and the force of his attack pushes me backwards. I hold my ground. I think this is the second time I've ever been this close to him. The first time was when he left Konoha after knocking me out cold.

"Why are you defending him?" he asks.

I push chakra into my weapon hand and charge with all my power, knocking the sword out of his hand. He realizes he's lost his weapon and makes a step backwards, but I move faster than he thought I would. I feel something warm and liquid land on my face as a red gash appears on his cheek.

"You never listened to me when I talked to you," I tell him with a bitter smile. "I have no reason to listen to you now."

Sasuke looks incredulous at first, then his expression becomes one of unrestrained anger. I've betrayed him, I know. My heart is breaking for him, because he doesn't understand.

My choice, however, is already made.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Sasuke's Raikiri chirps to life in his hand. He's too close for me to avoid the impact on time. My training dictates that if I find it impossible to avoid damage, I should minimize it. I shift my position accordingly, bracing myself for the impact.

Except it doesn't come. The Raikiri shrivels and dies.

Part of me jumps with joy within, thinking he has changed his mind… but I'm neither stupid nor blind.

Sasuke is glaring at me, his Sharingan as red as the blood from the wound on his cheek, but his gaze is slightly unfocused. _Genjutsu_ , I realize. I feel safe enough to look over my shoulder and, sure enough, I find Itachi standing there.

"Are you coming?" he asks.

I look at Sasuke again. I don't know how the Sharingan works against another Sharingan. I don't know what _genjutsu_ Itachi trapped him in or how, but Sasuke doesn't seem to be in pain. That's more than enough for me.

" _I came looking for you,"_ my heart is screaming, _"I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to make it seem like I betrayed you. But I don't think Itachi is the man you think he is."_

I step away from him, numb inside. The rain keeps pattering, unrelenting and I don't think I've ever felt so cold as the adrenaline starts leaving my system.

"Sasuke!"

His companions just realized something's wrong. I hear their voices as if from a great distance, but they're coming towards us. Once more, Itachi is pulling me behind him. It's hard to resist him when I'm such a mess inside. A tear falls, unseen among the raindrops on my face. It leaves a burning trail behind.

Then I see a flash of black and red and Kisame suddenly appears beside Itachi, his presence making Sasuke's team halt. Two Akatsuki against three Oto-nin. I think the odds are pretty clear, even though the math might be deceiving. They seem to pick up on it, because they don't advance.

"Let's go," Itachi says.

" _I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun."_

I don't know when my legs move, I just notice we're off when I suddenly find myself jumping from branch to branch, following bright-red clouds on black. Hours pass and I think of nothing. My mind is empty, my soul devoid of emotion. There is nothing but cold and endless rain.

The woods are almost dark when Kisame and Itachi stop, a little ahead of me. I kick a branch, land on another, once, twice, and I finally manage to catch up with them. I've been lagging behind for the past hour or so, forcing them to adjust their pace. Kisame doesn't seem too pleased. He growls something and sets out ahead, on his own. I just stand there, forlorn, waiting for someone to tell me what to do.

Itachi walks up to me. I'm looking at his feet, because my head feels too heavy to hold up. I see the long strip of black fabric in his hand and I know what's coming. We're near another hideout and he's going to blindfold me. Oh, joy. I don't have it in me to protest, so I wait for him to just put it on and be done with it. Soon, we'll be someplace warm, I hope - somewhere I can just go to sleep and forget about today.

"Sakura."

Itachi's voice is coming from afar. This happened before, I think, but my mind refuses to remember. My eyes blur, his feet coming in and out of focus. Suddenly, his thumb is under my chin and my eyes dart up along with my head, wide and full of tears. I see myself reflected in his Sharingan and for a moment, I catch glimpse of what connects us. We are both made from broken parts, struggling to keep ourselves together. Our pain bears the same name.

Itachi's hand cups my cheek and he wipes away my tears with his thumb. His touch is hot against my cold skin and I lean into it instinctively, closing my eyes. Neither of us says anything as we lean into each other. Words would only make this real. I press my cheek against his chest as he rests his chin on top of my head, and we let silence envelop us. It's enough that for a few minutes, our hearts beat together. It feels like forever.

There's no awkwardness when we pull apart. I don't regret anything. I needed this more than I'd probably like to admit. I wait, patiently, as he puts the blindfold over my eyes and reach out for him when the world goes dark. He's right there. He bends down, pulls me up on his back and in a moment I feel the wind in my hair again.

It doesn't take as long for us to reach this hideout as it did leaving the one before. I'm too tired to pay attention to the direction Itachi is taking me in once we're inside. I know it's unprofessional of me. Lesson number one: a ninja should always be aware of his or her surroundings. Except right now, I don't want to be a ninja. I just want to be Sakura, even if she's hurting.

We stop. I hear the door shutting behind me. I don't take the blindfold off myself, I wait for Itachi to do it. We're in a small room, not much unlike the one before. It has the same, sparse, standard-issue furniture. I let my backpack drop and shuffle towards the bed, half-asleep.

"Your clothes are wet," Itachi says. "You're going to catch a cold."

I don't have anything else to wear. If this were anyone else, I'd doubt their intentions, but I don't think Itachi is anything like that. He's the first guy I've ever spent so much time alone with, and he's never made me feel unsafe like that. In other ways, yes, but never like that.

I hear him rummaging through his cloak's many pockets and turn to see him pull out a scroll, which he promptly unfurls on the wooden floor. When he places his palm on it, two sets of folded t-shirts and sweatpants appear. I see. I've been wondering how he carries his personal items around. He hands a set to me, then holds out a hand, pointing to a second door, which leads into a small bathroom.

I nod my head in thanks and go inside, shutting the door behind me. It takes me a few minutes to peel off my wet clothes. I look in the mirror for a moment. Pale. Disheveled. I don't look like myself much. I look away and start putting on Itachi's dry clothes. I notice the t-shirt has the Uchiha fan on the back and stare at it for a moment. Sometimes I forget Itachi is an Uchiha.

The clothes are not as big as I thought they would be. In fact, I don't believe they would fit Itachi. Not anymore, at least. I frown, thinking these must be some of the clothes he left Konoha with. I look over my shoulder, at the Uchiha symbol reflected in the mirror.

Itachi kept these, even if they don't fit him anymore. This is more than nostalgia. This is regret. Could it be possible that the task of killing his clansmen was forced upon him somehow? The more I think about it, the more likely it seems. The only leverage they could have had was…

Sasuke-kun.

I lean against the sink, overcome with emotion. I've felt so numb up until now that this torrent takes me completely by surprise. Sorrow and rage both wreck me from the inside out and tear my heart anew as the realization sinks in.

I can't imagine anyone in Konoha capable of doing this to someone, but… I guess I've always been naïve like that. I don't know who they are, but I know what they did.

They turned Itachi's love against him.


	12. Chapter 11

**Hi! Sorry updates have been slow. I've started nursing school and it takes up a lot of my time. I will be posting one or two chapters every weekend, though. Thank you for reading this story! I do have a sequel in mind for it, but we're still a few chapters from the end, I think.**

 **Chapter 11**

Cold. Cold, no matter how I curl myself under the blanket and wrap it around me. I can't get warm. I can't sleep anymore. The room is dark. There's no window, I can't tell if it's day or night, let alone be able to deduce the hour. I toss and turn. I try to imagine the warmth of a campfire, of a bowl of ramen, a cup of tea, telling myself I'm going to get warm soon. I'm shivering so badly my teeth are chattering.

I hear Itachi shift and I feel bad for waking him up. I just can't stop shivering, _shannarou!_ I pray he pulls an extra blanket out of his scroll to lay over me, but instead I feel cold air as he lifts the blanket. The mattress dips under his weight as he slips in beside me and pulls me closer. My back is against his chest and he's radiating heat. It sinks through my skin and into my flesh, melting it on my bones.

It takes a while, but eventually I start shivering less and less, until it stops. I feel my cheeks start burning as blood begins to flow within me again and I'm thankful for the darkness. I lie in his arms completely still, completely awake. I can't tell if Itachi has fallen asleep. Except for that night when I could have brought the hotel down around him and he would have still been dead to the world, he's a light sleeper. I've already woken him up once. I'd feel terrible if it happened again.

My lashes brush against the skin on his arm when I blink.

"Getting warm?" Itachi asks quietly. His lips are very close to my earlobe and he's breathing on my neck. He doesn't sound half-asleep. Maybe this is a novelty for him, as well. Being this close to someone. I'd like to think that.

I nod in reply to his question.

We spend a few minutes suffused in silence and darkness and warmth. I realize there's nowhere I'd rather be right now. It's selfish of me, but I can't help it. I don't know when I started caring about Itachi and it's frightening, because it feels so different from the love I had for Sasuke all these years. Is it still betrayal, since he never returned my feelings? I shake my head, pushing him away from my thoughts. Yesterday's events are still not something I want to recall.

"How did you know who I was when you found me?" I ask Itachi, voicing a curiosity that's been at the back of my mind for a few days now.

He doesn't say anything and I think he might have fallen asleep, but he sighs after a few moments. "I'll show you tomorrow," he says.

What does he mean by that? I wonder, but don't ask. I can wait until tomorrow.

"If you weren't going to use me as bait for Naruto, why take me along?"

"You're full of questions tonight," Itachi says, and I can feel his lips curling into a smile against the skin on my neck. Then the smile fades, and I grow restless waiting for him to continue. "I was selfish," he says.

Those words again. I'm having an incredibly difficult time picturing Itachi as selfish. I also find it necessary to ask for clarification, as it usually happens. Like his brother, Itachi is a man of few words.

"What do you mean by that?"

He smiles. "Tomorrow."

I sigh and close my eyes. Tomorrow seems years away from now.

* * *

I wake up envelopped in warmth and revel in it for a while. At first, I'm convinced Itachi is still holding me, the shape of his body moulded on mine, but minutes pass and I realize I can feel no steady movement of breath from him. My eyes open and I jump up, filled with panic that pumps adrenaline into my veins.

The room is lit by a flickering light and I see Itachi sitting at the table, reading something. I look beside me and realize my drowsy mind confused the blanket with his body. Baffled by my own ridiculousness, I blush under his curious gaze.

"Had a bad dream?" he asks.

"Something like that," I manage to say. "What are those? I didn't know Akatsuki members had paperwork to do."

Although Itachi smiles, I perceive a hint of wariness in it. He throws a folder, which lands in my lap, and I stare at it. It has my name on it. I don't understand. What is this? I place a hand on it, tentativelly, running my fingers over the smooth surface.

"I promised," Itachi says.

That, he did. I swallow the lump in my throat and open the folder. Pictures of me are in there, along with all of my past. Personal information, Academy scores, in-depth analysis of my personality and abilities, my current status as medic-nin trainee under Tsunade-shishou… everything.

"Where did you get this?" I ask, my voice quivering. This is highly sensitive information. It should never be outside of Konoha. Never.

Itachi has the grace to at least look guilty. "I've kept a very close eye on my brother throughout the years, ever since I left," he says. "That included you and Naruto, as his teammates."

"You couldn't have gotten this without help from the inside." My tone is betraying the horror and the anger bubbling up inside of me. Whoever gave this to Itachi is a traitor.

"I would never have allowed any of this to fall into the wrong hands," he says by means of justification for his action, as if that would excuse the action itself.

"I hope you did a better job hiding these than you did with that scroll containing information on the Akatsuki."

Itachi seems miffed by my sharp words, but he doesn't retort. I have the right to be angry and he knows it. "I suppose things are only going to get worse from here," he says, "so I'll also answer your second question. By being selfish, I meant that I took you with me for my own gain. I knew I was sick and that I couldn't hope to treat myself. I needed a medic. I came across you that day. Thanks to this file, I knew exactly who you were and what you were capable of. I didn't miss the opportunity."

I am appalled. Try as I might to think of something to say, there is nothing. On the other hand, I don't think he's ever said so many words to me in one go. It has a calming effect on me to realize that Itachi's opening up to me. I start breathing deeply, counting up to ten every time I inhale and exhale. Once, twice, three times. Then I look at Itachi. He seems tense and wary as he tries to discern the emotion behind my facial expression. I hold out my file.

"Just put this away for now," I say.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Who is your inside person?" I ask Itachi when I'm confident I won't lose my temper again. The last thing I want is for him to put his walls back up. I don't think I'd manage to scale them a second time. He finishes putting on his Akatsuki cloak, probably deliberating on whether or not to tell me.

I might have been mistaken in my initial approach regarding his liaison – they may not be a traitor per say. They may know Itachi well enough to trust him and to my mind, that is akin to knowing the truth about what drove him to destroy his clan. Still, that doesn't mean I don't think it was irresposible, or that whoever did it shouldn't suffer any consequences. If I were in their place, I would never have done something like this.

That leads me to two more possibilities: the first is that Itachi's liaison may simply be an unethical person. The second is that he or she knows Itachi a lot better than I do and that whatever connects them is stronger.

It's only when he looks at me that I come to realize how conflicted he is over answering my question. Whoever this is, he cares about them. An old friend seems likely, though I distinctly remember him saying he had two friends and both are dead. A lie?

"Alright," I say. "You don't have to tell me." I've conceded only because it makes me uncomfortable to keep pushing him like this.

"A former ANBU teammate," he says. Why does he always seem more willing to give information when I tire of asking for it? And why do his answers leave me with only more questions?

The ANBU deal in secrets and undertake covert operations. They are the village's shadow line of both attack and defense, the unseen elite of our shinobi forces. It doesn't surprise me to learn than Itachi was once one of them.

I sigh and finish putting on my sandals. I don't know how long of a journey we have ahead of us or where we're headed, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I've grown used to being dragged along like this. The only thing I dislike is not being able to talk freely with Itachi in Kisame's presence.

"Have you ever thought about going back to Konoha?" I ask.

"I can't," he says, the instant I finish formulating my question. Too quickly, I think, for someone who always weighs his words before speaking. These ones escaped. I try to act casual.

"Konoha needs shinobi like you."

"I'm of more use to the village out here."

"I disagree," I say right back. "You already know a great deal more about the Akatsuki than all the other village intelligence units combined. What else is there for you here?"

"What makes you think there's anything for me in Konoha?"

This is about Sasuke, my mind whispers. Konoha holds nothing for Itachi without Sasuke there. I grit my teeth, swallowing the pain. Konoha once felt empty without him for me, too. But I had Naruto, I had Kakashi-sensei, Lee, Ino, Tsunade-shishou… Itachi would only have me. I shake my head stubbornly.

"Sasuke would come after you, no matter where you go."

Itachi sighs. I assume his patience has come to an end. "I've been a missing-nin for seven years, Sakura. Konoha only knows me as a clan killer and a traitor."

There's that, I admit to myself. My mind works over it furiously. I know we don't have much time left.

Tsunade-shishou would listen if I tried to explain the situation to her. I can't guarantee she'll believe me at first, but she trusts me enough to give Itachi the benefit of the doubt. But Tsunade-shishou is one person, even if she _is_ the Hokage. What about the rest of the administration? The other shinobi? The civilians? They only know and believe in what they've heard, like I once did. If, by some miracle, Itachi would be allowed to return to his life as a Konoha shinobi, he will be a pariah. I can see that, and still, the idea of returning home with Itachi has taken root. I will not give up on him.

"Itachi, I-"

" _Oi!_ " A series of loud bangs make the door shake and I start. I was so lost in thought I didn't sense Kisame approach the room. His voice sounds like thunder, even from outside. "We're going to fall behind on this one if you two don't hurry up!"

Itachi opens the door just as Kisame was about to bang with his fist again. His arm, roughly the size of my leg, drops to his side and it's rather comical how he stands there, regarding Itachi like one might a poised cobra. Then his odd eyes turn to stare at me and he squints.

"Itachi-san, why isn't she wearing a blindfold?"

Itachi looks at me over his shoulder. "I placed her in a genjutsu. She won't remember any of this." I freeze. The look in Itachi's eyes is telling me to play along. I don't think Kisame will buy this, but I do my best. A moment later, the Kiri-nin sneers.

"I take it she misbehaved. I told you you should have done this from the start, Itachi-san. She looked feisty."

"Come," Itachi tells me and I obey.

While this act allows me to see my surroundings, I liked the blindfold more. Being trapped in a genjutsu is very much like being a zombie. I'm not supposed to talk, to do anything of my own free will, to give Kisame any reason to suspect Itachi and I are playing him for a fool. But why would Itachi change tactics all of the sudden?

I wonder about it as we leave the hideout and I make sure to commit every detail to memory as we depart, just in case this is why Itachi did it. Questions run through my mind as I keep my face blank and follow the two Akatsuki. Is this hideout special somehow? Is it its location? Is it more frequented by the members than other hideouts? Is there something here that could be of use? Sensitive information? Plans? I have no doubt Itachi will tell me when he gets the chance to, though that may not be soon.

"It was really lucky that we came across this _kunoichi_ , _nee_ , Itachi-san?" Kisame says.

The two of them are right in front of me as we walk along the path cutting through a field. The grass here seems almost fluid in the wind, like a green sea.

"She'll come in handy, at long last," the Kiri-nin says, and my ears perk up. "That annoying _jinchuuriki_ won't be running off without her."

I nearly stop dead in my tracks before I remember I'm not supposed to do anything but keep quiet and follow. Naruto. They're talking about Naruto. I struggle to keep a frown from my face, I command my facial muscles to stay still. If I could, I would use chakra to numb them. Itachi clearly overestimated my drama skills.

"What are we going to do with her once we capture the Uzumaki brat, eh?"

Suddenly, I understand why Itachi wanted me to play the genjutsu game.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The entire day goes by without Kisame leaving our side. I'm getting tired of keeping a straight face, but I have to pull through. Itachi is risking a lot by placing this responsibility on my shoulders. I can't, I _won't_ fail him. At nightfall, when I finally lie down in my sleeping bag, I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and throw myself into the arms of sleep. I don't think I've ever fallen asleep so fast before.

But it feels like only a moment has passed since closing my eyes when someone shakes me awake. I open my eyes to find Itachi next to me. I sit up and look around, but there's no sign of Kisame. It's almost dawn.

"He's gone scouting," Itachi tells me.

"Naruto," I say quickly. "Are you really going to take him?"

Itachi shakes his head.

"But if you don't, Kisame might start suspecting something."

"Naruto won't be alone."

I know that. Tsunade-shishou would never allow Naruto to leave Konoha by himself. Kakashi-sensei will most certainly be with him, as well as some of the Konoha 11. Even Itachi and Kisame wouldn't be able to hold their ground for long against all their strength combined. I give a sigh of relief.

"Sakura."

I look up. I don't like what I'm seeing. There's something in Itachi's eyes that makes me think I know what he's going to say next. And I do.

"I want you to go with Naruto."

"No." It's out of my mouth faster than I thought. "I'm not leaving you behind."

"I'm not giving you a choice." His voice is hard and commanding, so different from the tone he has taken to using with me. What once would have made me back down this time fails to intimidate me. Admittedly, convincing an Uchiha of anything is definitely at the bottom of the list when it comes to things I'm good at, but to hell with that.

"Please, listen to me," I say. "I know the Hokage. Tsunade-shishou will listen to your side of the story. If you were only following someone's orders that night, they can't hold it against you!"

"Following orders?" he echoes. I realize I've never actually spoken to him about my deductions. _Baka_ Sakura! I open my mouth to speak and stop, noticing the thoughtful expression on his face. There is a shadow in his eyes, a tenseness in his jaw. Could it be that I was right?

I place a hand on his shoulder. "Itachi… you've sacrificed enough already. Please, come home with me."

Itachi's gaze hardens and he stands up abruptly. "Out of the question," he says.

I am on my feet in an instant, clenching my fists. "Why?" I ask, raising my voice. "What are you so afraid of?" What started as an outraged demand ended on a high, rather tearful note. I really am bad at convincing Uchiha when it comes to staying or going, _shannarou…_

When Itachi looks at me, I look away. It's a pathetic attempt to hide my tears, I know. Still, it's the best I can do. I know they won't convince him, just like they didn't convince Sasuke when he left Konoha. I just can't hold them back at times like this.

"Someone gave the order," Itachi says, his voice oddly flat, despite the fire burning in his eyes. "But not without a reason."

I would admit I haven't thought about it so far, but my words get stuck in my throat.

"To return to Konoha and be allowed to live would mean revealing what really happened," he continues. "It would mean dragging my family name through the mud. I don't want that for Sasuke."

"Whatever your clan did, Itachi, you and Sasuke can redeem the family name. If you would just tell him the truth-"

"It's too late for any of that," he says, brushing me off. I open my mouth to argue, but he takes a finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet. A moment later, I feel Kisame's chakra approaching. I clench my teeth, unable to let the frustration within show. I have run out of time and I have failed to convince Itachi.

If I go with Naruto, like Itachi wants me to, I will be leaving him behind.

If I refuse to go, like my heart tells me to, I will blow Itachi's cover.

I'm at an impasse.

As Kisame enters the clearing, I will my facial muscles to relax back into yesterday's blank mask. Heaven only knows the storm raging within me. I fear it might start blowing through the cracks. Thankfully, the Kiri-nin pays no attention to me. He walks up to Itachi without casting a single look in my direction.

"They're near. I say let's pack up and greet them, _nee,_ Itachi-san?"

I see Itachi nod. He and Kisame pack up our meager belongings and we're ready to go within minutes. The thought of seeing Naruto again fills me with both joy and dread. There are so many things that could go wrong, I don't even want to think about it. I'm sure Itachi has at least a dozen plans in mind in case that happens – he just hasn't told me about them.

We're moving fast now, unlike yesterday's leisurely pace. I feel my muscles burn as we keep at it, my lungs barely keeping up. Light flickers in and out of sight through the canopy.

When Kisame stops, I feel my heart skip a beat. Itachi halts beside him and I land right behind them, panting. My legs are trembling, but I force myself to stand. Itachi knew I would never have agreed to his plan, so he left me no choice. He knows exactly how I feel about him and he used this to bind me to his will. I'm trapped. I hate feeling so powerless.

"… have her scent, _dattebayo!"_

Naruto's voice rings in the silence like a beacon in the dark. I hear dogs barking next and I know Kakashi is with him. I think I can tell Pakkun's voice apart from the others. My body is taut as a bowstring, watching, listening, waiting. I hate the waiting part the most.

I feel someone grab my wrist. One moment we're in the trees and the next thing I know, we're standing in the middle of the road, face to face with a Konoha searching team. I see Naruto, Kakashi-sensei and his _Ninken_ , Neji and Shikamaru. _Keep still, Sakura,_ I tell myself over and over again. _Play along._

" _OI!_ " Naruto jumps forward, pointing at me. I stare at him blankly. "Let Sakura-chan go, _dattebayo_!"

"Sure thing," Kisame says, his lips parting into a grin. "You come here, and we'll let your friend go."

"Naruto, get behind," I hear Kakashi-sensei tell him and he pulls down his mask to reveal his Sharingan.

Itachi chuckles beside me. "That won't be of much use, Kakashi-san," he says.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto calls me, and I barely manage to stop myself from looking up. "Sakura-chan! You bastards, what have you done to Sakura-chan?"

"She's in a genjutsu. She can't hear you, Naruto," Kakashi says. If he can't tell it's an act, I don't see how Kisame ever could. "Let her go, Itachi. She's of no use to you."

"I beg to differ," Itachi replies.

"All this chatter is giving me a headache," Kisame says, shifting into a fighting stance. That monstrous sword of his – I can almost feel it pulsing with anticipation. It makes me sick. "Come here, Uzumaki brat!"

"Let Sakura-chan go!"

"You don't get to make requests, _jinchuuriki."_

I don't realize what's happening until my feet leave the ground. Kisame's huge hand is wrapped around my throat, his skin cold and clammy. The weight of my body is pulling me down and his grip on my throat is tightening, tightening… My eyes widen. I kick and struggle, but it's no use. He's holding me up at arm's length and my airways are slowly closing under the pressure.

"Sakura-chan!"

I snap my eyes shut, gasping for air. My nails scratch at Kisame's hand, but he won't even flinch. My air reserves are depleted. I'm beginning to see stars swirling in the darkness behind my eyelids. The truth sears like white-hot iron. Tears form at the corners of my eyes and my lungs are burning. The pain is all-consumming.

I am disposable, dispensable.

Kakashi would never hand Naruto over for me.


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The impact with the ground shakes the very core of my being. It doesn't hurt. The air, however, sears on its way into my lungs as I breathe it in hungrily. I start coughing, my hand shooting up to my throat, but I'm too shaken to gain any form of control over my chakra and heal myself.

I open my eyes, but my vision is blurred. I blink fast, trying to dispell the haze. My limbs are weak and shaking. I barely have the strength to sit up. I manage to crawl away, though I'm confused and have no control over the direction. It feels as if I'm a broken doll, trying to get a hold of all my strings, only to realize some of them have been cut.

I hear Kisame howl and the sound of it is deafening. My vision is clearing, I see the Kiri-nin standing a few feet away from me, holding his head like he's trying to burst it open. I'm slow to understand exactly what is going on. _Kakashi-sensei?_ I wonder. _Sasuke,_ some part of my irrational mind whispers. I've obviously been deprived of oxygen for too long.

But it's the wrong Uchiha standing between me and Kisame.

"Sakura-chan!"

I hear footsteps and a couple of voices calling out for Naruto to stay back. He doesn't listen. A moment later, he kneels beside me and helps me into a sitting position.

"Sakura-chan, your lips are blue. Are you alright?"

I don't reply. Naruto grabs my arm and starts pulling me up. My attemps to resist him are feeble, but they don't go unnoticed.

"Sakura-chan! Snap out of it, we need to go!"

He thinks I'm still trapped in a genjutsu. My lips move. "No," they mean to say, but no sound comes out, only pain. I see Itachi turn around, and Naruto tenses, doubling his efforts to drag me away. I'm heavier than I look, and a lot more stubborn. I make an effort and slap Naruto's hand away.

Naruto looks confused, wounded even, but he doesn't give up. I grab his wrist and shake my head, even if that hurts, too. Then he sees Itachi closing the distance between us and moves back inadvertently, letting me go. Itachi pays him no attention as he kneels beside me and quietly helps me get back on my feet. I'm leaning on him for support since my legs are still weak, but at least I'm standing. Let me keep my last shred of dignity.

I'm face to face with Itachi, holding onto his arms as if to a lifeline. I don't care how this might look to the rest. I see Naruto with the corner of my eye, and the expression on his face is somewhere between disbelief and apprehension. My eyes fill with tears as I look up at Itachi. Of all my friends here, Itachi was the one who saved my life, blowing his cover in the process. Nothing hurts more than wanting to thank him and being unable to.

"I'm sorry," my lips say and his Sharingan doesn't miss it, because he leans over to whisper in my ear.

"I've sacrificed enough already."

I take a hand to my mouth and my shoulders move up and down as I start sobbing soundlessly, every move sending a ripple of pain through my throat. I don't feel any of it. All I know is the joy and relief filling my heart to the point of bursting.

"Step away from her, Itachi," I hear Kakashi say. "Explain yourself."

I look at Kakashi-sensei. He is standing in a position that would allow him to attack fast, and his hands are positioned to form the Raikiri if Itachi should make a wrong move. His eyes are full of doubt. He thinks Itachi attacked his partner as a ruse.

Never before have I needed my voice more. I raise a hand to my throat to heal at least some of the damage, but Itachi presses it back down.

"Don't waste your energy," he tells me quietly, then looks at Kakashi-sensei. "I have no intention of fighting you, Kakashi-san. I surrender."

"You'll understand if I don't believe you," Kakashi says. My heart sinks as I feel him gathering chakra in his dominant hand. I let Itachi's arms go and move in front of him, arms outstretched, shaking my head.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto says, looking worried. "What has he done to you? This is Itachi Uchiha. He's a criminal! He's the reason Sasuke left us!"

His words tear at my heart, but I don't relent. Yes, this is Itachi Uchiha I'm protecting from my own friends. Yes, he's the reason Sasuke left. Yes, he's a criminal. But there's more to his story than just that, and I can't seem to get my point across. Why do they all think I've lost my wits during these few weeks?

"Itachi-san," I hear a low, rumbling voice from behind. "I never took you for a traitor."

The gravel crunches as Itachi turns around to face Kisame, who's somehow broken out of the genjutsu. Dread coils in my belly like a venomous snake.

"I have to say I'm disappointed," Kisame says, his tone dripping with poison.

In a moment, Itachi pushes me so hard I stumble forward a few steps and if Naruto hadn't been there to catch me, I would have fallen.

"Get her to safety," I hear Itachi say.

"I'll kill all of you Konoha wretches!" Kisame bellows, and his Samehada bursts from its wrappings, twice its usual size, as he swings it at Itachi. I watch, horrified, as it makes contact with Itachi's arm and shreds through his cloak and flesh, but no blood comes from the wound and Itachi scatters into a dozen crows.

Kisame looks downright mad right now. If I thought he looked terrifying before, boy, was I wrong. I fear for Itachi. A few weeks of intermittent healing sessions will not be enough to help him get through a fight of this caliber unscathed. I pull free from Naruto's hold and stumble towards Kakashi-sensei.

"Help him!" I cry, desperate at the strangled sounds that come from my throat instead.

I turn around to watch the battle, heart hammering in my chest. I never thought someone so huge could be so fast, but Kisame somehow manages to keep up with Itachi and all I see are their blurred shapes as they clash.

"Sakura, we need to go," Kakashi tells me, reaching out to grab my shoulder, but I swat his arm away like I would a pestering fly.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto says, "maybe we _should_ help. I mean… Itachi let Sakura go. He told us to get her to safety. Maybe he meant it when he said he's surrendering."

"Even so, I can't risk losing any of you just to help a criminal," Kakashi-sensei says.

I shoot him a look torn between hurt and anger, but his jaw is set in a way that tells me his mind is already made up. _Fine,_ I think. _Stay back, I understand._

They have nothing to lose. I do.


	16. Chapter 15

**Hi! I'm sorry if this story isn't turning out to be what you thought. To me, it's not far from how I intially pictured it, before I started writing it. With only two more chapters to go, it's up to you guys to decide if reading this is worth your time or not. I've been reading stories on Fanfiction since 2006 and I know there are so many things that could go wrong with a story. Maybe something went wrong with mine and I just can't see it yet.**

 **Chapter 15**

I clench my fists, pushing chakra into them. My eyes survey the battlefield and I follow the two figures exchanging blows for a few moments, trying to anticipate where they'll be next. I shoot forward like a bow from an arrow, pumped full of adrenaline, before any of them has a chance to stop me.

The next thing I know, I'm half-flying through the air, aiming a punch. Kisame parries, realizing his mistake only a split-second later, as I release all the chakra stored in my fist. The bones in his left arm shatter with a sickening crunch. I jump back as his Samehada comes from the other side, cutting through the air. I see the beads of sweat forming on Kisame's brow, try as he may to ignore the pain.

Itachi delivers a blow from the other side, but misses as Kisame jumps back. His right arm drags the Samehada along the ground when he lands, raising dust from the road. His left arm hangs down, rendered useless. His breath is haggard. He is not used to feeling pain. With his monstrous power, who could ever have gotten near enough to ever hurt him?

"Sakura, go back," Itachi says.

I shake my head and plant my feet more firmly into the ground. I'm not going anywhere. I don't even flinch as I see Kisame thrust his sword into the ground and form a quick series of seals with his remaining hand.

" _Suiton: Bakusui Shouha!"_

" _Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"_

Itachi's fireball clashes with Kisame's wave and hot steam blows in our faces before it settles around us in the form of mist. I don't like this one bit, Kisame being from a village hidden in the stuff, but I trust Itachi knows what he's doing. I pull a kunai just to hold on to something as my eyes search the thick haze for any sign of movement.

 _There._ I throw the kunai, though I don't expect it to hit given Kisame's speed. Itachi and I shift as we look around, until we're standing back to back, surrounded by impenetrable mist. I want to ask him if his Sharingan can see through any of this, but I can't. I just hold my ground, all my muscles tense and ready to move at the first sign.

 _Whoosh._ Samehada comes down in the space between Itachi and me, making us jump in opposite directions. Kisame is trying to separate us. He knows I'm more vulnerable compared to his former partner and he's going to come for me first. As soon as I finish formulating that thought, Kisame's sword brushes against my side, sucking some of my chakra. I try to land a kick on him, to break more of his bones, but he's gone in an instant.

I'm alone. I can't see. I can't cry out. I refuse to let the panic set in. _Focus, shannarou!_ I try to anticipate Kisame's next move, reaching out with all my senses. I can do this. I breathe in once, deeply, ignoring the pain caused by my bruised airways expanding. I hold that breath. The sound of letting it out would distract me. I wait, tense from head to toe. I can do this, I tell myself again.

The instant I sense movement, I swerve with all my strength, avoiding a direct hit and, at the same time, managing to aim a kick into Kisame's exposed size. It lands with such force that it sends him sprawling on the ground, where he promptly splashes into a puddle. A clone. I have no time for disappointment, because I hear something behind me. I turn around to see another Kisame raising his sword and I have no means of knowing whether this is the real one or just another clone.

" _Amaterasu."_

Kisame's cloak catches on fire. He forgets all about me, caught in the struggle of removing his cloak with a damaged arm. Too slow. The flames start licking at his arms and he's howling in pain as they make their way up towards his face. I step back. If this were a clone, it would have vanished by now. Itachi steps out of the mist and stops beside me, watching as his partner falls to the ground, writhing in agony. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

A kunai flies and embeds itself in Kisame's throat, silencing him. I look at Itachi, surprised by this small act of mercy, but he says nothing. There's a trail of blood on his left cheek, strikingly crimson as the Sharingan fades to reveal his dark eyes. He stands still, watching as the Amaterasu consumes his former partner's body until there's nothing left to burn. Then he forms the seal of a wind jutsu and blows the mist away, clearing the surrounding area.

I turn around. Naruto and the others haven't left. Colors swirl before my eyes for a moment and I lose my balance, but Itachi wraps an arm around me for support. Samehada must have absorbed more of my chakra than I thought. The others watch him warily as we approach, but at least Kakashi-sensei doesn't look like he's getting ready to drive a Raikiri through him anymore.

Naruto steps forward, offering to help me. His face is set in a stony expression I can't interpret. I'm too tired to try, anyway. No one speaks as we leave, heading towards Konoha and no one says anything about Itachi coming along. I stay behind the group with him. I've only been gone for a little while and already I feel like a stranger among them.

Naruto alone stops at some point, waiting for me to catch up. "Are you feeling okay, Sakura-chan? You look kind of pale, _dattebayo."_ He shoots a cautious glance at Itachi before looking back at me. I smile and nod at his question. Truth be told, I'm feeling kind of queasy and my throat hurts worse than before. I'm not about to ruin our reunion for Naruto, though, and it makes me happy to see him break into a characteristic grin.

Kakashi-sensei pushes ahead and soon, we're forced to follow again. It's keep up or get left behind and he's never set this kind of pace before. There's no lunch break, no time to catch our breath on a branch and pop some food pills. Judging by the way Itachi's breathing, he's feeling the strain too. His eyes are still dark, meaning he doesn't have enough chakra to activate the Sharingan.

I would give anything for a drink of water right now, but I don't feel strong enough to both run and take the bottle out of my backpack. I see colors again, rushing before my eyes. I close them just for a moment, trying to get rid of the sensation, but it doesn't leave me this time. I make a wrong step and slip off the edge of a branch. I don't know if I hit the ground.

Darkness swallows me whole.


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I hear birds chirping. Sunlight warms my skin. I open my eyes and see white. I blink twice, adjusting to the light pouring in through the open window. I know this place, I realize. I'm in the hospital in Konoha. I sit up abruptly, looking around, but I see only Naruto dozing on a chair beside my bed, snoring softly.

"Naruto!"

My voice is raspy and low, closer to a whisper. The vibrations send pain through my throat, but it's not nearly as bad as before. I bring a hand up to my throat and my chakra flares, assessing the situation. I've been taken care of. Most of the damage has been repaired. My body has been left to recover on its own from here on.

I glare at Naruto, who sighs in his sleep, blissfully deaf to my voice. I grab my pillow and hit him with it. His eyes shoot open and widen at the sight of me.

"Sakura-chan!" he says, grinning. "You're awake!"

"Where's Itachi?" I ask.

"Tsunade said you're not supposed to talk much."

"Never mind that. Where is he?"

Naruto fidgets, looking uncomfortable. "Prison, where else?" he says in a small voice. The pillow drops from my hand.

"How long have I been unconscious?" I ask.

Naruto hesitates. I'm starting to dread the answer. "It's been five days since we returned. Everyone's worried sick about you. Tsunade-baa-chan said you'd need plenty of rest, but she-"

I push the covers and move to get up.

"Sakura-chan, I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

"Help me," I say instead of brushing him off, like I usually do. It takes him by surprise. He stands up and holds my arm as I stand on wobbly legs, like a newborn calf. "Is Tsunade-shishou at the hospital?"

"I- I think so. She was here about an hour ago to check up on you."

"Go get her while I get dressed, please."

He gives me a worried look, but does what I asked, to my great relief. I really don't have it in me to fight with Naruto right now. I remove my hospital gown and slip into my clothes, which have been cleaned and folded neatly while I was asleep. Five days. I can't believe it. Why didn't anyone wake me up?

I'm putting on my sandals when Tsunade enters the room like a whirlwind, Naruto trailing behind her with his tail between his legs.

"Sakura, this is outrageous!" she says. "Get back into bed right this instant!"

"I need your signed permission to see him, Tsunade-shishou," I say instead.

"I don't know what happened between the two of you, but you're not going anywhere. You need to rest, to heal, and to forget any of this ever happened."

I pause. _Forget?_ How could I ever forget?

"There are things you don't know," I say.

"And you'll tell me all about them. When you get better."

"I need to see him."

I can see her initial irritation losing ground in favor of worry. Naruto, peeking at me from behind her, has the same expression on his face. I finish strapping on my shoes and stand up, looking at Tsunade expectantly. They've never seen me like this before. I've always been compliant, never arguing with my betters, never showing this blatant disregard of their authority.

I wait for what seems like hours until Tsunade looks over her shoulder at Naruto and tells him to leave the two of us alone for a minute. He does, but not before casting another worried glance at me. I'm left with my mentor.

"Sakura," she says in a voice that bodes ill. "You ran away. I covered for you as best I could, but don't think I've forgotten. I've read Kakashi's report and I don't understand what happened one bit. But there's one thing I do know: Itachi Uchiha is an S-rank missing-nin. You have no business seeing him."

"Please," I say. "I'll explain everything. Just let me see him this once and I will write it all down in a report."

"Whatever lies he told you-"

"He _didn't_!" I raise my voice, despite my throat protesting.

Tsunade looks surprised at my outburst, and a little disappointed. It hurts, but I can't help it.

"I barely recognize you, Sakura."

There it goes: another crack in my heart. I hardly register the pain anymore. Everything within me is numb. I don't recognize myself either. I want to tell her that, but she'd get the wrong idea. She'd think I agree I'm turning into a monster. What I'm becoming is something else entirely, something I've never been. I'm becoming strong inside.

Seeing as to how I give no sign of backing down, Tsunade lets out an exasperated sigh. She pulls a note from her pocket and scribbles something on it. Then she puts her seal on it and hands it to me.

"I want a full report on the entire period you've been gone," she says. "Whatever you've done, I don't care. Just write _everything_ down."

What does she think I've done, _shannarou_?!

I say nothing, just nod my head and pocket the note. I'm still a bit weak, but I leave out the window eitherway, picking the rooftops as the fastest route to the prison. The clean air makes me feel less queasy by the minute and I rush towards my destination with newfound strength.

I don't remember getting to the prison or making my way inside, I just find myself face to face with the guard at the entrance at some point. I hear him talking, but I didn't get a thing.

"I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?" I say, and I don't recognize my own voice. Kisame really did his number on me. That and the effort I made arguing with Tsunade over giving me that note. I hand it over to the guard when he asks for it a second time, looking annoyed at having to repeat himself. He quirks a brow as he reads it, but says nothing as he hands it back to me. He removes all my weapons, checks for any hidden ones and tells me to go on in.

It's a dank, dark place and I dread to think of Itachi having spent so much time here already. I'm stopped by three more guards who ask for my permission slip before the last one finally takes me down several flights of stairs, to the level where they keep the most dangerous criminals. We must be deep underground by now, and there are no windows here, only ventilation shafts to bring fresh air from outside, though it does little to improve the smell.

"Give me your palm," the guard tells me, and I do. He proceeds to draw a symbol in the middle of it. "Stick to the middle of the corridor. When you reach the last door to the right, place your palm on the door and it'll open for you."

He doesn't tell me if that's where I'll find Itachi or if it's just another security measure. I don't ask. My feet carry me along the corridor seemingly of their own record. Most of the cells here are empty. As I come near the end of the hallway, I hear voices speaking quietly. I think I recognize Itachi's and I stop to listen. An interrogator?

"Danzo left the village the day after you came back."

Not an interrogator. And this is a woman's voice.

"He's afraid."

Itachi! I was right. My heart picks up its rhythm. But who is he with?

"You have a visitor, I think," I hear the woman say, and my blood freezes in my veins. As weak as my chakra signature is at the moment, she sensed me. A moment too late, but still.

Itachi's cell door opens and the woman steps out. As soon as I see the ANBU mask covering her face, I know who this is: Itachi's liaison. It's funny how I always pictured his contact as a man. Growing up, I don't think I saw many strong _kunoichi_ in Konoha, so I always assumed the elites are made up of men.

She's tall, her hair put up in a long, dark ponytail. She walks up to me, and I feel my hair standing up on end.

"Hello, Haruno-san," she says in a pleasant voice.

I merely nod in reply, too surprised to say anything back to her. When I look at her over my shoulder, I notice a tattoo on the back of her neck. The symbol looks familiar. I think it's the crest of one of Konoha's clans, but I can't put my finger on it right now.

I swallow the lump in my throat and close the distance between me and that door. I take a deep breath and place my palm on it. Something hisses and it swings open, revealing a tiny cell. I see Itachi sitting on the bed and my heart stops, everything else forgotten.

 **Hi! Tomorrow I'll be posting the final chapter, along with the first chapter of the sequel.**

 **Thank you for reading this fic!**


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

The smile I had at the thought of seeing him fades. Itachi can't see the horror on my face and I'm thankful for that. There is a blindfold with a seal set over his eyes to prevent him from using his _doujutsu_ , but they didn't stop there. They put him in a straightjacket, too. The more I think about it, though, the sillier it seems. Nothing would stop Itachi if he wanted to leave.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

I step forward and sit next to him on the bed. "Better," I say. "They… they haven't tortured you, have they?" I see no traces of a brutal interrogation, but knowing Ibiki Morino, I feel the need to ask.

"Why would they? I gave them everything they wanted to know."

"Tsunade-shishou wants me to write a report. I want to tell her everything, too."

Itachi says nothing, but gives a small nod after a few moments. We spend a short while in silence, until I decide to put my small chakra reserves to good use and ask him to turn around. It's as good a time as any for a healing session, be it even a short one.

"Who's Danzo?" I ask.

He has been expecting that question, I bet it on my forehead protector. He doesn't answer immediately. I've learned to be patient when it comes to conversations such as this. I suspect what the answer is, but I want it to come from him. And it does, eventually.

"The man who gave the order."

"So he ran because he knew the truth about that night would come out?"

"Probably."

I want to ask about the ANBU, but decide against it. It would feel like intruding too much right now, when he's more vulnerable than I've ever seen him. It wouldn't feel right.

As the last of my healing chakra ebbs away, I'm pleasantly surprised by the fact that his disease has progressed much slower than it used to. With regular healing, it might take less time than I initially thought for him to be permanently rid of this encumbrance.

"You're doing a lot better than I expected," I tell him. A little light in this darkness is better than none. "I'll put my time to good use and see what more can be done about it."

"Time's almost up!"

The guards voice from beyond the door makes me start. No one bothered to tell me my visit would be time-limited, but I suppose I should have expected it. I stand up. I don't want to leave Itachi here. My heart is breaking at the thought of him spending so much time in this horrible place. However, I'll be of more use to him on the outside.

"I'll get you out of here," I say. "One way or another."

A smile plays on his lips for a moment and it fills my heart with warmth.

"I'll try to visit you again soon."

"Sakura."

I stop as I'm about to knock on the door for the guard to let me out.

"Be careful out there," Itachi says. There is something hanging heavily in his voice, something that sends a chill down my spine. I want to ask, but before I manage to gather my thoughts, the guard opens the door and I walk out.

There's nothing more definite at this point than the sound of that door shutting behind me. The echo of Itachi's words haunt me as I make my way to the surface, to sunlight, to freedom. The more I think about it, the more deeply ingrained is the feeling that they were a warning.

I thought I would be safe once I returned to Konoha. I thought bringing Itachi back would be enough, that we would somehow find some time of peace. That he would be free of his pain after all this time.

Have I made it worse for him?

For myself?

Yellowing leaves swirl around me as I walk down the path from the prison. The sun is still warm, but its power is ebbing away. I don't know where I'm going. Itachi's last words have thrown me completely off track.

I stop. What am I doing, losing myself already when there's so much that I have to do? It doesn't matter what I've gotten myself into. I'll focus on what's important.

First, I'll write that report for Tsunade-shishou. Second, I'll storm through the library in search of anything useful on Itachi's condition. Third, I have my studies at the hospital to continue. I've already missed enough classes - it's time for me to get right back on track. Fourth, I could do with more physical training.

I turn around and start walking home. I need to gather my thoughts. Tonight I'll write everything down, even if it takes me until dawn. From the moment I walked out the village gates to the point where I passed out on our way back, Tsunade-shishou will know everything.

I met Itachi Uchiha by chance. I stayed with him by choice.

This is not the end.

 **Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who read this story, to everyone who posted reviews and added it to their favorites or followed it!** **I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.** **The first chapter of the sequel, titled "A Will of Fire", will be posted shortly.**


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